1. Page 1: Introduction can be improved. Concept is fine but you can improve the structure.
1. Be formal (avoid +, use 'plus'. as in 7 billion plus)
2. At some places, sentences are not framed properly (eg: 'land, labour, capital..' sentence.)
3. Page 5: You wrote that Ramu is getting competition from Amazon, myntra etc. You should have written that his neighbour who is running a boutique is getting orders using facebook but he is not able to use technology to his advantage
4. Page 5: Be careful when you use small & capital letters ( , He can hardly..)
5. Page 6: you could have told that e-learning is not used by Ramu's son. He rather uses printed textbooks
6. Page 6: It should be - ASSOCHAM survey which was released last year told that 80%..
7. You could have talked about JAM trinity (Jan Dhan, Aadhar and Mobile) and Digital India
8. Your conclusion did not live up to the expectation. You wrote the essay very well raising the expectations of the reader but disappointed in the conclusion. In conclusion, you should have talked about Ravi and Ramu. It is like a climax in the movie. You have to bring all the characters appearing in the climax and also make it touching. You should make a lasting impact in the end.
Overall Impression - Very lucid and coherent. If you can make the suggested changes and also think about it and improve it.
Rating: 3.5 STAR